Midday Madness Report – April 30, 2025, 12:08 PM EDT
Dispatches from the Last Sane Bastard in This Casino
Market Carnage Overview
Trader Hell’s a screaming slaughterhouse, you cheap pikers, and the markets are choking on their own bile. The Dow’s down 172.30 (-0.4%), a gut-punch from tariff fears and earnings flops. The SPX is cratering 44.18 (-0.8%), with tech dragging it to the abyss. The NDX’s 81-point nosedive (-0.4%) is a tech-sector funeral, fueled by SMCI’s earnings catastrophe and tariff panic. Trump’s 25% China tariffs and 10% global levies (5-10% price spikes, web estimates) are rattling cages, while Jerome Powell’s Fed skulks in the shadows, rigging gold to prop the dollar’s rotting corpse. X’s @MarginCallTrade (April 29, 2025) nails it: “$SMCI craters… market’s hanging by a thread.” This ain’t investing—it’s a goddamn crucifixion, and your portfolio’s nailed to the cross.
Stock Slaughterhouse
SMCI (Super Micro Computer): These cretinous fucktards got skullfucked after blowing earnings and slashing guidance like spineless grifters. SMCI’s at $30.868 (down 14.3% from $36.00 close, April 29), after a pre-market gutting from $37.20. Preliminary Q3 revenue’s now $4.5-$4.6B (was $5-$6B), and EPS is a pathetic $0.29-$0.31 (was $0.46-$0.62), blaming delayed Nvidia Blackwell chip orders and inventory write-downs. X’s @HedgeyeTech (April 29) called the 18% after-hours plunge, and @HansCashFlow warns this AI sector’s a trap. SMCI’s volatility (4.88%, beta 3.24) is a death spiral—short this trash or watch it burn.
META (Meta Platforms): Zuck’s empire is wobbling at $541.641 (down 2.3% from $554.44 close), hit by AI spending fears and ad revenue jitters before today’s Q1 earnings (forecast: $5.23 EPS, $41.34B revenue). X’s @TradewithTheVJ ties SMCI’s crash to sector weakness, and META’s struggling at resistance ($545-$549). Tariff costs on VR hardware could bite, but analysts like JMP’s $750 target keep bulls hopeful. Hold tight or hedge with puts—this one’s shaky.
TSLA (Tesla): Elon’s rollercoaster is at $279.099 (down 4.4% from $292.03 close), slammed by tariff risks on China-made EVs and a choppy Q1 delivery outlook. TSLA’s intraday low hit $270.955, but it’s clawing back. X’s @LKPreserve links SMCI’s bleed to broader tech pain, and TSLA’s beta (2.1) screams volatility. Long-term, Musk’s AI pivot might save it, but short-term, tariff headwinds sting. Buy dips or brace for more pain.
SPY (SPDR S&P 500 ETF): The market’s pulse is fading at $550.185 (down 0.7% from $554.32 close), tracking the SPX’s 44-point dive. SPY’s testing support at $544, with resistance at $575-$590. X’s @JustinPulitzer blames SMCI’s pre-announcement for overnight weakness, plus mixed CPI data (inflation dipped 0.2%). Tariff uncertainty and Powell’s rate-hike ghost are spooking bulls. Hedge with gold or TLT—SPY’s not your friend today.
This market’s chaos is no accident—it’s the Fed’s century-long grift, born at Jekyll Island and perfected by scum like Meyer and Powell. Part 1: Fiat Fever (kingcambo812.substack.com/p/fiat-fever-a-gonzo-autopsy-of-the) gutted the Fed’s 1910 plot. Part 2: The Gold Heist Swindle drops this weekend, May 3-4, ripping Meyer, Black, Burns, and Powell for stealing your gold and rigging markets. Subscribe, you cheap bastards, to join the mob: kingcambo812.substack.com. Free pikers, grab a 7-day free trial for a measly $5/month—don’t be a spineless piker forever!
Final Note
SMCI’s earnings flop and tariff fears are the Fed’s fingerprints, crushing your portfolio while Powell laughs. META, TSLA, and SPY are wobbling, but gold’s your hedge—buy physical, not GLD, you dumb bastards. Part 2’s coming to arm you for this war. Free subs, ditch the piker life: get the 7-day free trial to the paid service, just $5/month, you cheap bastards: kingcambo812.substack.com. Stay savage.
#FedSucks #TraderHell #CramerSucks
KingCAMBO’s “Legal” Disclaimer: Alright, buckle up, you madcap truth-seekers, ‘cause I’m about to sling this disclaimer straight from the edge of a neon-drenched abyss, for you silly bastards, with a belly full of cheap whiskey and a mind like a chrome-plated slot machine spitting sparks. This ain’t no polite suggestion to buy or sell stocks, securities, or any of that Wall Street bullshit—it’s just my raw, unfiltered brain-droppings, spewed out like a busted fire hydrant. I’m a walking financial disaster, hemorrhaging cash on trades and investments like a gambler with a hole in his pocket. I might snatch up any stock I yap about here, or dump it faster than a getaway car at a bank heist, and I won’t send you a postcard about it. This ain’t a pitch to buy or sell jack squat. I might own the names I’m ranting about, or I might not—could be bullish and empty-handed, bearish with a fistful of shares. Hell, assume I’m playing the exact opposite game you think, just to keep you on your toes. If I’m long, I could flip short before the ink dries; if I’m short, I might go long by lunch. No updates, no apologies—my positions shift like desert sands in a sandstorm. You’re out here in the wilds, solo, so don’t you dare lean on my blog for your big money moves. I’m a fringe-dweller, howling at the moon, and the publisher ain’t vouching for the half-cocked “facts” I sling. These ain’t the opinions of my bosses, buddies, or anyone else dumb enough to know me. I do my damndest to keep my disclosures straight, but I’m scribbling this after a few beers, maybe a shot of mezcal, so don’t bet your ranch on my accuracy. I tweak my posts after they’re live ‘cause I’m an impatient bastard, too lazy to proofread. Spot a typo? Come back in 30 minutes, it might be gone—or worse. And let’s get one thing crystal: I fuck up. “A lot.” I’m saying it twice ‘cause it’s the only gospel I’ve got. Now go, you beautiful lunatics, and don’t blame me when the market chews you up and spits you out.