Fear and Loathing in the Pre-Market Abyss: June 17, 2025
Dispatches from The Last Sane Bastard in This Casino
It’s 4:28 AM at the fortified compound, and the stench of blood is thick—everything’s hemorrhaging like a gut-shot hog on the NYSE booth #9 floor. Sorry, Cramer, you simpering clown—your Bullwinkle rave yesterday was a grotesque lie, indices puking out half their morning green by close. No tears in baseball, no sniveling in day trading, you beautiful, deranged cretins! This is war, and the market’s a battlefield of shattered dreams.
Bitcoin? That wild bastard finally smashed the 105K resistance trap, soaring to $109,171.25 by 2 PM before plummeting $2000 in a New York minute at 6:30 PM—pure, unhinged crypto carnage! More on this fever dream below. E-mini futures roll over tomorrow, you reckless fools: Dow (YM) -236, S&P (ES) -29.00, Nasdaq (NQ) -105.50, and the VIX? That grinning sonofabitch is loitering at 20.50, ready to feast. NOT good, Maverick—buckle up!
Today’s a circus of doom—Bank of Japan and US Core Retail Sales could ignite the powder keg, while VIX expiry and SPX major expiry loom like executioner’s axes. Then there’s Jerome Powell, that impotent jester, flanked by his “What me Worry?” fucktard cabal, set to drone out nothing at 2 PM Wednesday. The Federal Reserve? A FedEx scam in a three-piece suit—FUCK THE FED! Dig that rant if you dare.
Now, the Bitcoin saga: spot price at $106,603.77 as I claw this screed into existence, still reeling from that $109K tease—SPLAT! My greater trend targets? Upside to $116,313.22, downside to $98,504.80. Want the full 2025 crypto prophecy? Choke down Beavis, Butthead, and Bitcoin: A Gonzo Ride to $236,887 or Bust—a lunatic safari through the digital jungle! Daily from this Fear and Loathing fortress: intraday BTC targets based on overnight madness
$107,335.99
$107,811.35
$108,286.88
$108,762.27
$109,000.00.
Breach those, and I’ll crank the Flux Capacitor for higher stakes.
NVDA (NVIDIA) at $144.69 is holding steady, riding the AI wave, though the VIX at 20.50 suggests volatility could shake things up. Watch for resistance if it climbs past your BTC-fueled chaos.
AMD at $126.39 is flexing with a recent surge, but with e-mini futures down (S&P -29.00), it’s dancing on a knife-edge—could dip or rip depending on macro news.
ENPH (Enphase Energy) at $45.93 is bleeding with the broader market, and US Core Retail Sales data today might twist the knife—keep an eye on solar sector sentiment.
QUBT (Quantum Computing) at $21.22 is a quantum leap from its norm, likely hyped by NVIDIA’s quantum buzz, but with Nasdaq futures -105.50, it’s a gamble in this bloodbath.
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I am KingCAMBO, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em, and that’s how I ROLL on Pre Market Briefing!
King Cambo’s Fear and Loathing “Legal” Disclaimer: Alright, buckle up, you madcap truth-seekers, ‘cause I’m about to sling this disclaimer straight from the edge of a neon-drenched abyss, for you magnificent bastards, with a belly full of cheap whiskey and a mind like a chrome-plated slot machine spitting sparks. This ain’t no polite suggestion to buy or sell stocks, securities, or any of that Wall Street bullshit—it’s just my raw, unfiltered brain-droppings, spewed out like a busted fire hydrant. I’m a walking financial disaster, hemorrhaging cash on trades and investments like a gambler on a three-day bender. I might snatch up any stock I yap about here or dump it faster than a getaway car at a bank heist, and I won’t send you a postcard about it. This ain’t a pitch to buy or sell jack shit! I might own the names I’m ranting about, or I might not—could be bullish and empty-handed, bearish with a fistful of shares. Hell, assume I’m playing the exact opposite game you think, just to keep you on your toes. If I’m long, I could flip short before the ink dries; if I’m short, I might go long by lunch. No updates, no apologies—my positions shift like desert sands in a sandstorm. You’re out here in the wilds, solo, so don’t you dare lean on my blog for your big money moves. I’m a fringe-dweller, howling at the moon, and the publisher ain’t vouching for the half-cocked “facts” I sling. These ain’t the opinions of my bosses, buddies, or anyone else dumb enough to know me. I do my damndest to keep my disclosures straight, but I’m scribbling this after a few beers, maybe a shot of mezcal, so don’t bet your ranch on my accuracy. I tweak my posts after they’re live ‘cause I’m an impatient bastard, too lazy to proofread. Spot a typo? Come back in 30 minutes, it might be gone—or worse. And let’s get one thing crystal: I fuck up. “I fuck up a lot.” I’m saying it twice ‘cause it’s the only gospel I’ve got. Now go, you beautiful lunatics, and don’t blame me when the market chews you up and spits you out.